Finding Love Through Grief
by bellaxisxi
Summary: Bella and Jake have been married for years. Edward and Tanya are married, but dislike eachother. What happens when an accident leaves Bella and Edward widowed, trying to console eachother? Can Edward help Bella get over a lost love. BxE. JxA. EMxR.
1. Hurt and Unconcerned

BPOV

"Come on Jake, just one night at home. Please?" I had to finally beg. I mean, come on, a grown man choosing a stupid poker night over spending time with his wife and son. That's just wrong.

"You know I do this every Tuesday night. Why can't you just let me have this one night out of the week to spend with the guys?" Jake said, frustrated, as I started to get more and more angry.

"It's every week! You can go play cards next week! Can't you just tuck Embry in tonight? He misses his dad. You come home after work, eat dinner, and then just run out to play poker!"

Embry Charles Black is our 4 year old son. He's adorable with his shaggy black hair and his chocolate-colored eyes he got from me. He definitely got Jake's hair color and smile, but he did get my eyes and my clumsiness. He can trip over thin air sometimes and I feel so bad for giving him that one horrible trait. But he is the love of my life and I was the happiest woman in the world when I gave birth to him. Embry is my little angel, a momma's boy completely.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I'm going out. I'll tuck him in tomorrow night. You can handle him. I'll be back later. Don't wait up," he said, as he walked out and slammed the door.

I walked back into the living room and plopped down on the couch as the tears started to run down my cheek. Every week, he insisted on leaving to go play poker with the boys from the garage. Jake worked at one of the few Forks auto shops. He absolutely loved his job, and sometimes I thought he loved it more than his family. I try not to let him know I think that, but it's just so hard.

Jake and I were high school sweethearts. I've known him since I was a toddler. My mom, Renee, died in a plane crash when I was two, right after her and Charlie, my dad, got divorced. Charlie is best friends with Jake's dad, Billy Black, and through them we met and became instant best friends. One time in high school, my friend Mike asked me to go to the movies with him in Port Angeles. I felt so awkward and unable to say no, so I asked him if I could bring a friend. He quickly obliged, realizing I had actually said yes to him for the first time since I moved up here.

That friend was Jake. He brought his VW Rabbit to drive us to the movies and it was a blast! Mike got pushed to the side and Jake and I slowly fell in love. Ever since that day, he's been the only man for me. I love him with all of my heart, but I can't help but feel like I've lost him.

Ever since he started these poker nights five months ago, I feel like he's slowly slipping away from me. I can't go on without him, he's my sun, the shining star that has rescued me.

"Momma, momma! Can I have a cookie??" Embry came running to me holding 2 cookies in his hands, offering one to me, waking me out of my daze.

"Sure sweetie, but right after we have to go up to bed, okay?"

"Can Daddy read to me tonight? Please!" Embry whined.

"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. How 'bout I read you Where the Wild Things are again?" That was his absolute favorite book for me to read to him, and he always fell right asleep afterwards.

"Finnnne. But I want Daddy next time! I wanna show him the picture I colored for him!"

"Ok sweetie, let's go head upstairs now and get you ready for bed. Daddy will be home before you wake up." I picked him up and walked up the stairs ready to get him in his bed and go straight to mine. It was a long day of fighting with Jake and I hoped when I woke up, he would be in a better mood.

EPOV

"I'm leaving. You can deal with Kat. I'll be back late. Don't wait up." Tanya yelled to me while she walked out the front door.

Honestly, I don't know what I ever saw in her. Sure, she's beautiful and she gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Katherine Annabelle Cullen, but how did I end up married to her with a three-year-old.

I met Tanya Denali while working at the hospital in Forks. She was visiting a friend in town when she tripped in her high heels and broke her ankle. She showed up in the emergency room and I was the "lucky one" that got to work on her. She had a severe break in her ankle, yet she still held the ability to flirt shamelessly with me. Granted at the time, I was a single guy lusting after all kinds of women, but she drew me into her. I actually believed the lie.

We went out on a few dates and I introduced her to my family after a few months of dating. My mother, Esme, disliked her from the start. My mom is an interior designer, one of the most elite of them all and makes a living decorating celebrity homes. My father, Carlisle, is a world renown surgeon and is one of the most passionate people I know. He tried to like Tanya, but her hidden malice destroyed any good thoughts he harbored for her. My siblings were a WHOLE nother story.

Alice and her husband Jasper Whitlock immediately hated Tanya, but I never understood why. I guess I was just blinded by her and never noticed what the others did. Alice has her own clothing line and several shops located all over from NYC to LA to Miami. Jasper is a high school History teacher. He loves anything civil war and enjoys teaching it even more.

Emmett and his wife Rosalie Hale took things a little bit differently. First off, Emmett is a famous football player for the Seattle Seahawks with a huge sense of humor. On the outside, he looks like he could kill with his bare hands, on the inside, he's just a huge teddy bear. Rosalie on the other hand is a gorgeous blonde with an attitude. She's a notorious model and has traveled all of the world. Rosalie instantly wanted to strangle Tanya and Emmett had to hold her back a few times. Emmett just let things flow at first, but pulled me aside and told me to lose her, and lose her quick.

A few months later, she told me she was pregnant and I was shocked to say the least. Of course I've dreamt of having a family ever since high school, but I never imagined it would be with her. I figured I should do the right thing and proposed. We were married 6 months later. A grueling two months afterwards, she gave birth to Katherine, aka Kat. Kat is a splitting image of me. She has my bronze hair, my sparkling green eyes and she even developed my crooked grin as she grew older. Luckily, she only had her mothers nose and feet. Things between Tanya and I slowly went downhill after the birth of our daughter.

I knew I never loved her, but she gave me my adorable little girl who I cherished more than my own life. I lived for the nights when Tanya would leave and I would get to have Kat all to myself. Tanya barely spends any time with Kat when she is home, but I know that our little girl needs her mother so I stay with her, for the sake of my child. But how I wish I could find someone to truly love. It's horrible having to see Tanya day after day and pretend to enjoy her company.

"Kat, hunny, are you ready for night-night?" I said as I walked into the playroom.

"Dada.. I'm sleepy… Can I sleep with you now?" She pouted her lips and I could never say no to her pouty face.

"Of course sweetheart, mommy went out tonight so it's just me and my favorite girl!"

"Yeah!! Let's go upstairs and watch Dora! Mommy never lets me watch Dora."

"Well baby, tonight, you're watching….DORA!"

"Let's go! Let's GO!!"

"Alright baby, hop on." I said as I lowered my self down to the ground and helped her jump on my back.

We steadily walked up the stairs and into my bedroom where I flopped her down on the bed and told her to lay up on the pillows while I put her Dora the Explorer DVD in.

After pressing play on the DVD, I laid down next to Kat and let her tuck herself into my side. In minutes she was asleep. I kissed her softly on top of her head and watched her sleep.

I loved Tuesday nights because I could spend them with my daughter like this.


	2. The Cheater Always Loses

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so happy I have so many followers already. I just posted the story yesterday and already have 6 alerts! I love that you guys are doing this. this next chapter is an integral part of the story and I hope you like it. Jacob and Tanya POVs. Bella and Edward will show up next chapter. Again, I'll probably post again within the next few days, but if I get reviews, I just might post the next chapter tomorrow! I already started writing it and I think you'll all love it! So review, PM, anything! Just let me know what you think. This was a difficult chapter to write but it had to be done. So enough of my rambling, on with the show!**

JPOV

"I'm sorry Bella, but I'm going out. I'll tuck him in tomorrow night. You can handle him. I'll be back later. Don't wait up," I said as I walked out the door.

I jumped into my restored VW Rabbit and sped out of the driveway. As I winded down the curvy roads away from our home, I couldn't help but think of what brought me here. I used to love Bella so much. Our wedding day was one of the happiest moments of my life. She looked so beautiful and I knew I deserved her. I had been trying to win her over for most of our lives. But now…everything seems so destroyed.

Yeah, I love her, but I don't think it's actually love anymore. It's more of a friendly love now. I know, I'm a horrible person. Embry…well he is absolutely adorable. I can't look at him without seeing myself in him. But I was never actually ready for a kid. Bella fell in love with him before she even gave birth to him.

And now I'm driving to meet my girlfriend. I'm married for God's sake!! But she's gorgeous. And I really feel something for this woman. She's got an attitude, which is a complete turn on, and a body to die for. When we kiss, it's like an automatic hard-on. I just wish I wasn't married so we could truly be together without sneaking around.

I'm going to have to talk to her tonight about that. I want to be hers. And only hers.

As I pulled up to the abandoned parking lot outside of Port Angeles, I'm getting extremely nervous. What if she doesn't want me to get a divorce to be with her?

Oh no, I think I see her headlights. She parks next to me, gets out of the car, and I swear I almost jumped her right then. Her strawberry blonde hair was in waves cascading down her back, she had on a pink halter top with an itty bitty denim skirts and fuck-me heels. Wow. I need a second to calm down before she gets in the car. _Think…Charlie naked…bathing my dad…Kelly Osborne…Betty White…_Alright I think that's better.

She opens the door and all I can smell is her vanilla perfume.

"Hey sweetie, you look amazing tonight." I said to my breathtaking girlfriend.

"Just drive to the hotel. Enough smooth talk. I haven't been with you in a week and I really need to get laid," she said curtly. Ah, that's my girl.

TPOV

"I'm leaving. You can deal with Kat. I'll be back late. Don't wait up." I yelled to Edward as I walked out the door. Ugh, I can't believe I married him.

Sure he's hot and not a bad lay, but really, all he was ever good for was all that money that Daddy Dearest gave us from the wedding. Now I go shopping whenever I want, buy the most expensive clothes money can get, and have a stunning diamond on my hand. All I have to do is put up with him Wednesday through Monday and then go fuck Jacob at whatever hotel he chooses. It's really an awesome life. I just wish I didn't have to deal with that stupid brat I have to call a daughter.

I never wanted a kid but Eddie **refused** to let my get rid of her. I figured, fine, he can deal with her then. She's not my responsibility. I'm just here to look good and spend his hard-earned cash.

Wow, I didn't realize I've been driving so fast. I'm almost to the parking lot. If I wasn't so in love with my Audi S5, I would be getting ready to fuck Jacob in the back of my car. It does have luxury seats.

So here I am parked a few feet down from my Jacob…wait, did I just say _my_ Jacob? Who am I kidding? He's married, too! I just want him for the sex…I think. Oh well. Here goes nothing.

As I walk towards his Rabbit, I notice his breathing awfully heavily. I guess I chose the right outfit after all. I can't help my smirk to myself. I have such a way with men, it's astonishing.

I hop into the car and wait for him to turn on the engine. I haven't been thoroughly screwed in almost a week. Damn Eddie never wants it anymore. I wonder if he's getting it from somewhere else too? Oh well, not like I'd care. I still get the money. Cha-ching!

"Hey sweetie, you look amazing tonight," Jacob said as he just stared at me.

"Just drive to the hotel. Enough smooth talk. I haven't been with you in a week and I really need to get laid," I said, somewhat rudely…I didn't mean for it to sound that harsh.

He squealed the tires as we left the disgusting parking lot and almost instantly glanced over at me while he drove to the nearest hotel.

"So I've been thinking," he started, "I want to make us more official."

"What do you mean? We meet every week. How is this not official?"

"Well…you have Edward and I'm married to Bella. I've been thinking….,"

"Get on with it Jake."

"I'm going to get a divorce."

"What?!?!?!"

"Calm down! I'm trying to tell you I want to be with you! Only you! Why are you freaking out on me?"

"But…But…how will I pay for my car…and my clothes…"

"Is that all you care about?!"

Honestly, until today, I did think that was all I cared about. But I really don't want HIM to know that!

"But you have a kid. What then? Do I have to have ANOTHER stupid brat around me?"

At that point, he started driving a little faster than my liking. I almost said something, but the flash of light ahead of us stopped my train of thought.

The next thing I knew, we were heading straight for an SUV, going at least 90 miles an hour. I felt Jake swerve to miss him but instead ended up smashing a guard rail. Then we started tumbling over a hill and the last thing I heard was…

"I LOVE YOU TANYA!!!" Jake yelled to me as we plummeted to the bottom of the hill.

After that…it all went black.

Shortly after, I heard sirens. My head was killing me. I lifted my hand up to feel my headache and as I brought it down, all I felt was a sticky warm substance. Oh God, I'm bleeding. Save me! Wait, where's Jake?? Is he okay?

I felt someone pull me from the car. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. It was like a weight was holding my eyelids closed. All I knew was black and it was starting to suffocate me. I felt myself being put onto a stretcher and after that, nothing.


	3. Phonecalls and Crazy Strangers

**A/N: Ok, first cause I forgot this in the first two chapters, I definitely do now own Twilight or any of it's characters. Those belong to the LOVELY S. Meyer. I just have some fun with the characters.**

**You guys amazed me with the amount of favorites and reviews I got so far! It's been up for only a couple days but I already have over 15 followers. That blows my mind! I really hope you all stick around and keep letting me know what you like and don't like about this story, just please no author bashing. I try my hardest and this is my first fanfic.**

**But off to the story. This chapter was really hard to write but was critical to the story. I know I said that Edward and Bella would meet in this chapter but it didn't work out that way, it's going to have to wait until the next one, but definitely that one!! Also, there are a lot of jumping POVs in this one between Edward, Bella, and Alice. I just hope it isn't too confusing. Enjoy and review and let me know what you think! **

**Reviews are the highlight of my days!**

**EPOV**

_Ringgggg! Ringgggg! Ringgggg!_

Ugh…What time is it? It's after midnight! What's so important that it couldn't wait until a decent fucking hour in the morning???

"Hello?" I said groggily into the phone. I was so uncomfortable from sleeping awkwardly, due to Kat snuggled up to me, my whole body ached.

"May I speak to Edward Cullen, please?"

"This is he."

"I'm sorry to inform you of this sir, but there has been an accident. Your wife, Tanya, was in a severe car accident a few hours ago in Port Angeles. She wasn't the driver but she did sustain very serious injuries. She has been rushed to the hospital there and it's not looking good. I would recommend you go to the hospital as soon as possible."

Wait…Tanya? In Port Angeles? She had goes out with her friends every Tuesday night, but never ever to Port Angeles. This is ridiculous!

"Are you sure it was Tanya?"

"The license in her wallet said 'Tanya Cullen,' sir."

"Ok. I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Goodnight sir."

I hung up and couldn't believe what I heard. She was in an accident. In Port Angeles. And she wasn't the driver? But she took her car. What is going on?!

Ok, first things first, I need someone to help me with Kat. And I know just the person.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Ali, but Tanya was in an accident in Port Angeles and I need you to meet me there as soon as possible. I have to bring Kat with me but I don't want her seeing her mother in a hospital bed. Is there any way you could meet me there within the next hour and watch her while I check on Tanya's condition?"

"It's after midnight, Edward. But I'd be happy to watch Kat for you. When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I get Kat up."

"Ok. I have to tell Jazzy where I'm going but I'll meet you there?"

"Thank you so much, Alice. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Oh I think I do, oh brother of mine." Then she hung up, suddenly. What was that all about?

Now is the horrible duty of waking up Kat. She hates being woken up and this will be no exception.

I tiptoed into the bedroom and saw her sleeping peacefully curled up under the comforter. I tried to gently shake her awake, but that was not going to happen.

"Sweetie…I need you to get up for Daddy."

"No Daddy…I wanna sleep in…"

"We gotta go for a little ride, baby, you can sleep in the car and when we get there you can see Auntie Alice."

"Auntie Alice?"

"Yeah sweetie. Can I pick you up now? I just need to get shoes on you and we can go."

"Ok daddy…"

I picked her up as carefully as I could and brought her down the stairs. She barely moved as I put her shoes on, only mumbling for me to go slower. I gently took her out to the car and placed her in her car seat before I hopped into the front of the Volvo and started down the drive way. This was going to be a long drive.

**BPOV**

_I was laying in a beautiful meadow in the middle of the forest. The sun was shining brilliantly where I was resting, illuminating all of the wild flowers surrounding the small circular field. I shut my eyes, relishing in the scents surrounding me. _

_"Bella, look at me love," an angel spoke to me. I opened my eyes but the sun was too bright for me to see the figure hovering above me. The only thing that stood out to me was the bright emerald eyes staring at me._

_"W-Who are you?" I stammered, enamored by the beauty of this angel's eyes._

_"I'm here to protect you. Don't worry, my love. I will always be near." He said as he slowly backed away from me._

_"Wait! Don't go! What's your name?"_

_"I'll be here, whenever you need me." And with that, he disappeared._

_I laid back down, defeated and confused. Who was that man? I didn't recognize him at all. But those eyes. They were the most beautiful things I have ever seen._

_"Wake up mommy," another voice said to me._

_Huh? That sounded a lot like_ _Embry._

"Mommy! Get up!"

I awoke with a start, staring at my son.

"Baby, what are you doing up? It's….12:30! Sweetie, go back to bed. It's not time to get up yet."

"But mommy, the phone wouldn't stop ringing so I picked it up…" He looked so scared, but I couldn't let this go.

"Embry Charles Black! What have I taught you about answering the phone?!?!"

"Never answer the phone if you're not there with me…but it wouldn't stop and you wouldn't wake up!" I felt bad for yelling at him, especially when it was partially my fault. I always have a problem waking up. A bomb could go off and I still wouldn't budge.

"Who was on the phone, hunny?"

"Some man, he's still on the phone. He said, 'Is your mommy home?' and I told him you were so he told me to come get you. That's why I woke you up." He looked so innocent, like he thought he was doing the right thing and I knew the argument was over. At least for now.

"Ok Em, go back to your bed while I talk to the man on the phone and I'll be in to tuck you back into bed once I'm done."

"Mommy, can I sit with you until you're off the phone?" I already felt my resolve faltering. This kid definitely had the ability to get me to do whatever he wanted already. He must have gotten it from his damn father.

"I guess….

I signaled for him to hop into my arms and he flung into them so hard that I almost fell to the ground. How could he be so energetic at this ungodly hour??

We walked downstairs to the living room and I plopped him onto the sofa before I sat next to him and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" I had no idea who this was or why someone would be calling so late at night but my gut kept telling me this wasn't going to be good news.

"Is this Isabella Black?"

"Yes, may I ask who is calling?"

"This is Deputy Marks from the Port Angeles Police Department."

"Is there a p-problem o-officer?" My stomach dropped and knew that at any moment I was going to be either in a fit of rage or sobbing.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this miss, but your husband, Jacob, was in an accident a few hours ago near the city limits of Port Angeles."

Wait? Jake? Why would he be near Port Angeles? He goes to La Push on Tuesday nights to play poker with Seth, Paul and the other guys from the garage.

"Sir, with all due respect, but you couldn't possibly be talking about my husband. I think you have the wrong number. Jake would have no reason to go to Port Angeles."

"Mrs. Black, his driver's license was in his wallet. Jacob was driving the car and has the most extensive of the injuries. The passenger is not in such good shape either but she has a slight better chance. I'm sorry but I believe it would be in your best interest if you would get to the Port Angeles Hospital as soon as possible. He is not doing very well and it's not looking good."

"You said a passenger?"

"Yes 'mam, I don't think it would be best to give you any more information over the phone, though. Please come to the hospital and we can talk more once you're here."

"Um, ok…I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I will be waiting for you at the hospital, miss."

With that, the officer hung up and the sobs started. He said Jake was near Port Angeles? With a woman passenger in his car? Could this get any worse. I can't lose Jake! He's my only love. I can't survive without him. He has to be okay. He will be okay.

"Embry, I need you to get your shoes on okay, baby?"

"But I'm sleepy, momma…"

"I know, sweetie, but you can sleep in the car. We gotta go see Daddy, okay?"

I put his shoes on as gently as I could, grabbed the car keys and my purse and with that we were off into the night.

**EPOV**

This is absolutely insane. Here I am sitting outside of the hospital with my wife inside on a hospital bed fighting for her life, and not even a tear has escaped yet. What is wrong with me? My daughter is on the verge of losing her mother and I can't even drag out any emotion for this woman I call a wife? There's gotta be something wrong in my fucked up brain.

I glanced around the parking lot and spotted my sister's car, of course it sticks out like a sore thumb. Her and her Porsche. Sometimes I think she loves that thing more than me and I'm her freakin' brother!

Kat is fast asleep in the backseat and I'm so reluctant to wake her up from her peaceful sleep to deal with the chaos that I'm sure will be going on inside. But I guess here goes nothing.

Quietly, I got out of the car and opened the back door to get Kat. She started to fuss while I was undoing her seatbelt but as soon as she was in my arms, she fell right back asleep. I took one deep breathe and started walking towards the front doors.

The moment I walked in, the tiny little pixie I call Alice was by my side, whispering her condolences to me about the pain Tanya was in. I handed Kat over to her so she could follow me to the waiting area closest to Tanya's room. I walked up to the front desk and noticed the older woman, typing feverishly on her keyboard didn't even notice I was standing there. I coughed once trying to get here attention.

"Oh sorry sir, the hospital is very busy tonight and I didn't even realize you were standing there. What can I do for you, dear?"

"My wife, Tanya Cullen, was admitted here? I got a call from a police officer saying to come here immediately."

"Oh absolutely. Let me look here…Yes. She is up in the ICU on the 5th floor. Take the elevator to your right and take it up there. A waiting room will be on the left when you exit and the nurses station will be directly ahead. They will be able to take you to her doctor and her room."

"Thank you miss…?"

"Carmen, sir."

"Well thank you, Carmen." I turned around and saw Alice standing there with Kat, gave her a slight nod signaling that we needed to go the right and she began following me to the elevator.

Once we got inside, the questions started, just like I knew they would.

"Ok, so spill. You didn't give me much info on the phone. What happened? What was she doing here? Is she going to be okay? How is Kat taking it? Do I have to kill her if she gets better? Are you guys doing any better? For God's sake, what happened!!"

"Geez, Ali, take a breather. I don't know what happened or why she was here. I don't know if she's going to be okay, I just got here when you did. I haven't told Kat anything. I don't think you should kill her. Our relationship sucks like usual and I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!"

"Okay…well, will you tell me once you figure it out?"

"Of course. And thanks again for coming with me. Once we get up there, can you just take Kat to the waiting area and let her sleep? I'm going to have to talk to the doctor about what's going on."

Just then, the bell dinged letting us know we reached the 5th floor. The doors opened and I directed Alice to the waiting room. She told me again to make sure I let her know what was going on and I just gave her a nod, acknowledging that I heard her, before I headed down the hallway to the nurses station.

**BPOV**

As I pulled up to the hospital, the sobs had just started to quiet down and thankfully Embry was still asleep. I glanced around the parking lot, willing myself to go inside but instead started a little game called "what cars can I name?" while trying to distract myself from the severity of the situation I was in.

Let's see, there's a bright yellow Porsche (whoa, what is that doing here?), a shiny Volvo, an ugly purple Audi, a sleek BMW, a tiny red Aveo (which completely looks like a matchbox car), and the only other ones I can place are all the police cars parked in various spots.

That actually worked. I think I can go inside now without breaking down, hopefully. Getting out of our car, I slid into the backseat to try and wake up Embry. He resisted for a few minutes mumbling something about "evil clowns" and "overgrown spiders." Just one more trait he inherited from me: sleep talking. I finally got him awake, picked him up and started walking towards the hospital.

Once I was within fifteen feet of the hospital doors, my emotional barriers broke down again and I rushed into the hospital holding Embry to my body with a death grip. Dashing into the front lobby, a scoured the room looking for whoever could lead me in the right direction, my eyes landing on the woman sitting behind the front desk. Of course!

"I need to know where my husband is!!" I practically yelled to the older woman sitting at the reception desk. She wasn't even paying attention to me!

"Miss, you need to calm down. How can I help you?" She asked me. Calm down? The nerve!

"I will not calm down! I got a call saying my husband was in a horrible accident and was in this fucking hospital!!"

"Okay, what is your husband's name??"

"Jacob Black." Alright…calm down, Bella. Be rational. This woman has no idea what is going on. Relax. Take deep breaths. Oh god, I'm talking to myself now! I am the most irrational woman on this freakin planet.

"Ok Mrs. Black, it says that your husband is in critical condition and is in the ICU. That is on the 5th floor, okay? So just take the elevator to your right up to the 5th floor. When you get out of the elevator, there will be a waiting room on the left and the nurses station will be directly in front of you. Good luck." She said as she turned herself back to the work in front of her.

I practically ran to the elevator willing it to open faster and darted in as soon as the doors opened, pushing the close door button just so I didn't have to wait any longer. Embry woke up during my little tirade at the reception desk and was now staring at me with huge frightened eyes. Oh shit. Now what? I completely forgot I had to bring him with me! I can't possibly bring him into Jake's room and let him see his father. I can't even imagine what Jake must look like after that accident. I guess I can just see if maybe there are any other nice-looking, non-kidnapper-looking families in the waiting room that I could pass him off to for a little bit. This is going to be the worst night of my life.

**APOV**

I feel so bad for Kat! Her mom is laying in a hospital bed while her father is refusing to tell her! I have to do something. I just have to come up with a plan that won't scar her for life. _Ding!_ Ugh that stupid elevator is so annoying! I mean, it's just so loud…and the sound is horrible! They couldn't come up with something else? Anything a little cuter than that bland dinging it does? And the décor of the elevator is just so boring! They seriously need a better designer in this hospital. Maybe some bright colors, pastels or something.

Just then, a woman with a small boy that looked about Kat's age stumbled into the waiting room looking slightly confused and panicky. Maybe I could help her out. I stood up and walked over to her and she got a little defensive, gripping the little boy even tighter to her body.

"Excuse me…I'm sorry for bothering you. My name's Alice, well, Mary Alice but I hate Mary cause it's just so blah, so you can just call me Alice. Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. You looked a little hesitant so I figured I would come over here and see if you needed any help."

"Well actually…um my husband is here in the hospital and I don't have anyone to watch my son…"

Perfect! I could give Kat a play date! Oh this is going to be so much fun. Kat will love this!

"I could watch him for you! I'm actually already watching my brother's daughter over here and your son looks about her age. It won't be too hard. And I can take them down to the cafeteria for some food if they get hungry. You just go ahead and I'll take care of him."

"Are you sure? Embry's really tired so it shouldn't be hard watching him, he'll probably sleep until the morning."

"Not a problem, now go to your husband. Oh and I hope he gets better!"

"Thank you, Alice, and my name's Bella."

"Bye Bella! When you come back we should either be right here or the cafeteria. No worries!"

And with that she walked back out of the waiting room, looking thoroughly confused. I guess I just have that effect on people. Eh, it's a gift.


	4. It's You

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry it's been so long. Real life got in the way and a mild case of writer's block but I'm back! Hopefully this is good enough for the wait. All BPOV though. You'll see why. Oh and thanks for all the alerts and reviews! They make my heart all warm. Reviews make me more anxious to write so keep letting me know what you think! On with the show!**

BPOV

As I walked away from Alice and Embry, my heart rate sped up so much that I thought I would have a heart attack by the end of the night. I mean, it's not every day I get woken up in the middle of the night to my son telling me a police officer is on the phone and then finding out that the love of my life has been in a car accident.

I just don't know what to do. It's like I know something horrible is going to happen and I can't do this. I just can't. I need him. I love him. Whenever I think about Jake, all I can see is the sun. He was what woke me up in the morning. You know when you're snuggled underneath your blanket sleeping, and that tiny amount of sunlight breaks through the curtains and wakes you up? That's what Jake is to me. He's what makes me get out of the bed in the morning. He's what makes me function. And much like the sun, without him, there is no me.

The tears crept down my cheeks as I walked up to the nurse's station and asked the woman where Jake was.

"Jacob Black is being taken back to his room right now. He just got out of surgery and should be there momentarily. You can wait in his room and talk to the doctor when he shows up," she tells me, without even a hint of concern in her voice. Maybe that's a good sign? I sure hope so.

So I took the directions she gave me to his room and steadied myself as I came to his door. Bracing myself, I walked in, noticing the emptiness of the room. The pale white walls and the crisp, unused bed sheets reminded me again why I was here. This is a room the sickly come to either recover or pass. How many people actually died in this room? As I ponder this thought, I staggered over to the lone chair sitting next to the bed and waited for Jake to come in. A part of me hoped this was all just a big joke and at any minute he would stroll right into the room and say, "April Fools!"

But it wasn't April. And this wasn't a joke. This was a nightmare. No. Not even my nightmares compared to this. This was utter hell. If I could even picture what hell looked like, there wouldn't be fire pits and coal walls and red every where. There would be four white walls, a bed with unused sheets and me, sitting here in this stupid uncomfortable chair waiting for my husband to be wheeled into the room on a gurney.

After what seemed like hours, the door finally opened and I leapt out of my seat, barreling towards the opening door. Within seconds, I was at the gurney's side, without even one stumble, staring at my husband. His beauty was gone. His life was gone. It seemed like he was already a ghost.

The doctor then pulled me to the side so that the nurses could get Jake into his bed and hook him up to all the nonsense machines that I didn't even know the names of. The doctor decided then that it would be the perfect time to begin the painful discussion of what was going on.

"Mrs. Black, I believe you should sit down and I can tell you what to expect and what injuries he has sustained." I quickly obliged and rushed to sit down in the seat next to his bed, grasping for his hand that didn't have the IV in it.

"What's going to happen to him, doctor?" I had to ask. He didn't seem like he wanted to start this conversation any sooner then he had to. I needed this information. And I needed it before I broke down. Otherwise, I wouldn't hear a word he was saying.

"Jacob is suffering from a massive amount of injuries from the wreck. It seems as though while he was driving he swerved to miss a car in the opposite lane, went through a guard rail on and the car tumbled down the embankment. He was thrown from the car and sustained most of his injuries from that. He has several broken ribs, a broken femur, and his right wrist is broken. He has several large gashes and scratches covering most of his body but the worst injury he endured was a head injury. It seems as though when he was flung from the vehicle, he landed on his head. We managed to set all of his bones into place and he has casts on his wrist and leg, as well as his ribs have been taped up for the healing process. However, the brain injury is much more serious.

Right now, we have a breathing tube in place to aid him in his survival but his brain is slowly shutting down. Our main concern right now is that if his brain fully shuts down, he will go into cardiac arrest and we will not be able to save him unless we put him on life support. He does have a chance however to recover. The choice lies with you on whether we put him on life support right now or not. If we do, we know he will survive, at least in the vegetative state. If we don't there is a chance that he will not heal and make it out of his state. But there is also a possibility that he will fully recover. The option is now yours to make. What do you wish to do?"

Oh my god. This cannot be happening. This man cannot be standing here telling me I may lose my husband. No. I will sit here all night if I have to. Jake will not leave me. I know that. He's strong. He'll pull through. I just know it.

"I don't want the life support. Jake is a fighter. He can pull through this. He doesn't need to be hooked up to all those stupid machines you have in here. He will live." I shot back at him and he knew I meant business. He tried to give me a questioning glance but a glare from my way, sent him shuffling out the door on his way.

I needed this time with Jake. He needed to know I was here with him. For him. I was always his. Since I was a kid, I've always been his. Our song! Maybe if he heard our song, his brain would recognize that I was sitting here and he'd come back to me. It's worth a try. And with that last thought, I started singing our song.

**(A/N: you can skip the italicized part following this if you'd like, it's their song)**

_Thirtieth of April, s__eems like yesterday  
__Bought a house above the ocean, w__here our kids could laugh and play  
__I called you from Paris, t__o tell you that I w__rote our names up on the observation deck o__f the Eiffel Tower_

_Remember those nights  
__Playing "Summer Wind" on the jukebox of the bar we used to go  
__We made out in the bathroom and you walked me to my house  
__I tried to convince you not to go home_

_If only, __I had more time  
__I'd take you where you wanted to go  
__Italy isn't the same without you here_

_If only __I had one wish  
__I'd want a million trillion lifetimes t__hat I could spend with you  
__Fall in love with you again and again_

_First of November, __1998  
__I was thinking of what to say when I would call  
_'_Jake' come over to my house, c__ause you're the one for me  
__We'll drink cheap wine and watch for shooting stars_

_Remember our first apartment?  
__Our couch was never big enough for two.  
__Still, we'd fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up on the floor  
__Now looking back it was made for me and you_

_If only, __I had more time  
__I'd take you where you wanted to go  
__Japan is really nice this time of year_

_If only, __I had one wish  
__I'd want a million trillion lifetimes t__hat I could spend with you  
__Fall in love with you again and again_

_If only, __I had more time  
__England isn't the same without you here_

_If only, __I had one wish  
__I'd want a million trillion lifetimes t__hat I could spend with you_

_Fall in love with you again and again……_

After over 4 hours of sitting there, singing softly and telling him of all the little things that made me love him, I thought maybe I was getting somewhere. His breathing was slower than it was before and I just hoped that he would make it. I needed him to make it.

As I brushed my thumb across his thumb, I heard it. The heart monitor. Oh no…This can't be happening. The heart monitor was staggering at an alarming rate and the doctors stormed into the room calling a code that I couldn't hear the remainder of.

The whole room fell into a silence around me. I froze. I could see the rushing of doctors around me, feel the nurse pull me away from the bed. Doctors working on him trying to revive my husband. My husband. No. And then…after an excruciating 10 minutes, the chaos stopped. Slowly. The noise slowly infiltrated my mind, but just in time to hear the ending of the fight for my husband's life.

"Call it," Dr. Phillips said to the others.

"Diseased. 6:17 a.m." called another of the many doctors in the room.

And that was the end of my marriage. Those three little words destroyed every bit of happiness I had ever felt. It was all gone. He was gone. My life. My love. My everything. Gone. And the sobs began. After another hour or so, they had to rip me out of that stupid white room. I couldn't leave him. I just couldn't bring myself to tear myself away. They continually told me that they had to move him but I didn't budge until they physically removed me.

They moved me outside the door and I slid my back all the way down the wall and crumpled. The sobs surging through me were never ending. I had to gather up all of my strength to face my son. The only remainder of Jacob that I had. I love my son more than my own life and now he is my whole life. Just him. Be strong, Bella. Embry can't see you like this. He's so small, he won't understand.

After a few more moments of silent sobs, I stood myself up and collected my emotions. I knew my eyes had to be swollen and puffy but I had to see my son. I crept my way slowly to the visiting area and peeked my head around the corner to see Embry. He was sitting on the floor playing with a little girl who looked about his age. I saw Alice sitting there, caressing a man's back, yet keeping her eyes trained on the two kids.

That man, he had the most beautiful bronze hair I had ever seen. But he looked so distraught with his hands grasping his hair, which looked almost painful. I couldn't see his face but I was sure he was feeling the same pain I was, yet it couldn't be as agonizing. My feet moved me around the corner at their own accord and Embry looked up as a stumbled around to see him.

"Mommy!!!" He yelled to me and ran to latch onto my legs. I had left him for way too long.

And at that moment, the man with Alice lifted his head to see where the yelling was coming from and I froze for the millionth time tonight. I couldn't believe it.

"It's you…." I stammered.


	5. Truth Revealed

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters. I own the plot and an obese Beagle named Dootster.**

**A/N: So I think I'm going to update once a week now. You should expect an update every Sunday from here on out. Sorry it took so long for this one. A case of writer's block and some personal issues got in the way. But I hope you like this chapter! I don't write this story for reviews but please, please let me know what you think! I need to know if I should keep writing or just quit. I like to know my writing makes you guys happy or excited, or feeling anything! So review or PM and start reading!**

EPOV

As I walked towards the nurse's station, a feeling of dread enveloped me. I peeked behind me just in time to see Alice talking to some random brunette and Kat playing on the floor with a little boy. She looked so happy but that fatherly instinct got the best of me and I found myself wondering, "Who the hell is that boy playing with my daughter??"

I couldn't dwell on that thought very long because by the time it was through my head, I was at the desk. Calm and collected, I gently knocked on the desk to try and grab the nurse's attention.

"Oh sorry sir, seems I was a bit preoccupied to see you….oh." She had that glazed look on her face that happens almost every time I talk to a woman. It starts to get really irritating after a while. Seriously. Just stop eyeing me up and talk like a normal human being.

"I'm looking for Tanya Cullen's room? I'm her husband. She was admitted here at around 12:30. I got a call saying to come down here as soon as possible."

"Ok let me check my files….yes. Mrs. Cullen is still in surgery right now. If you'd like, you can pass the time in the waiting room and the doctor will come find you once she's out."

"That sounds fine. Thank you very much."

And with that I turned around and marched right back to the waiting room. I walked in and took a seat next to Alice, who of course was bouncing in her chair as usual. I knew she was waiting to assault me with questions but I really didn't feel like being bombarded today. I was not in the mood.

I knew I should be crying or at least distressed but really, all I could feel was sadness towards Kat. I wasn't sure how this would play out but I was certain that Kat needed a mother figure in her life and Tanya was that woman.

Three hours later, I was knocked out of my thoughts by a man calling my name.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, doctor?" I stood up and walked slowly over to the doctor, anticipating the worst.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife didn't make it through the surgery. Her organs started shutting down and there was nothing we could do to save her. I'm extremely sorry for your loss, sir."

"What?"

"She's gone, sir."

"No. That's not possible. She couldn't be. Her daughter needs her!"

"There's nothing we can do. We tried all we could." He briskly turned around and walked away. And I didn't know what to do.

Walking back over to my seat, I was in a daze. As soon as I was seated Alice began rubbing my back soothingly, trying to make my worries go away. It wasn't working, but I hoped sometime soon it would.

"She's gone, Alice. Kat doesn't have a mother anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do. Our marriage was falling apart and I didn't bother to care. I didn't even try to get her to say home last night. I didn't say a word. Nothing at all. I'm a monster. If I would have tried to get her to stay home, this wouldn't be happening." I dipped my head into my lap, not having the control to even look in her eyes.

"Edward…Look at me. Nothing you could have done would have prevented this. Everything happens for a reason. Look, I know you're worried about Kat, but relax. We'll figure this out. Calm down. Please."

How could this happen to me? I can't raise Kat by myself. She needs someone to be with her all the time. She needs her mom. I love my angel more than anything. I can't bare to see an ounce of sadness come from her. If I have to see that look in her eyes, it'll destroy me.

"Mommy!!!!" The little boy who was playing with Kat ran towards the entrance to the waiting room and it was the first time I had glanced up since that little conversation I had with Alice. And I saw her.

It must have been the brunette Alice was talking to earlier. She was beautiful. Her chocolate brown eyes widened and I felt like I was drowning in them. She had silky brown hair that made me want to run my fingers through it. And that body. She had curves in all the right places and I felt drawn to her.

"It's you…" She stuttered. I didn't understand. I had never seen her before. Had I? No. I would have recognized this one if I had ever seen her before. This is getting way out of control. I can't be attracted to her. My wife just passed away only an hour or two ago. I'm a monster.

BPOV

I couldn't believe it. The moment I saw him I recognized him. And no, I haven't seen him out anywhere. But he was the man in my dream. I could identify those eyes anywhere. Those piercing green eyes. They called to me in my dream, just last night. I can't believe I said anything. _Quick, Bella, don't look like a moron, cover your tracks. He's staring at you like you have three heads!_

"Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else." Stupid, stupid. He's still staring. Ugh, stop looking at me, you handsome freak! I was sure he was just staring at my hideous puffy eyes. They had to be even worse by now. _Just pick up Embry, and leave. Go home. That's all you need to do._ I'm making a complete fool out of myself. It would seem so awkward for me to just get up and go without even attempting to thank Alice.

I walked over and sat on Alice's other side and pulled Embry up into my lap.

"Alice, I can't thank you enough for watching my son. You're a life saver." I tried to hold back my tears, but everything from the last few hours came rushing back to me. Jacob. Accident. Passenger. Looking Back on Today. Death. Oh god. _Hold yourself together!_

A knock on the wall at the entrance of the waiting room startled me out of my thoughts and I glanced up to see a police officer.

"Mr. Cullen?" The officer spoke directly to the man with the emerald eyes. "My name is Deputy Marks. I talked to you on the phone earlier? I think now would be the best time to explain what happened tonight."

"Oh, sure, sir." With that, he got up and started walking towards the officer.

"Wait!" Both men stopped dead in their tracks, unsure of who I was speaking to. "Sir, an officer called my house last night about my husband and told me they would explain everything after I got here and it's been hours. I want to know what caused my husband's death!" He looked completely baffled by my sudden outburst.

"Your name, miss?"

"Isabella Black."

"What are the chances…," he murmured to himself. But I heard every word. And it confused the hell out of me.

"Miss, I don't know how you or Mr. Cullen would feel about this, but if I could, would you mind if I talked to you both at the same time? It would save a lot of time. You can come with me as well."

"Um sure, if that's ok with him." I glanced over at the man the officer called Mr. Cullen and he was staring at me, with confusion in his eyes.

"That's fine with me officer. I would just like to get this over with and take my daughter home."

"Alright then, follow me you two."

We followed Deputy Marks to a small room that looked to be a doctor's office. The walls were the same pale white color as the rest of the hospital but this room had more character. It had several book shelves placed side by side along the back wall, completely filled with medical books, journals, encyclopedias, and the like. There was a large mahogany desk in front of that wall of books with papers scattered all over it. Some family pictures were placed on the walls as well as the doctor's many framed medical degrees. It felt somewhat cozy for being in a hospital. The deputy gestured for us to sit on the visitors side of the desk where two large chairs were placed as he went to sit behind the desk.

"I know you both are wondering why I asked to talk to the two of you at the same time, but you will both find yourselves in the same situation. Mrs. Black…"

"Please, call me Bella, sir."

"Ok, Bella. And Mr. Cullen…"

"Edward." I could sense the frustration coming from the officer. It seemed like he just wanted to get this conversation over with, fast.

"Alright. Bella and Edward. Bella, your husband, Jacob, was the one driving the car tonight. It seems as though Jacob and your wife, Edward, were on their way to Port Angeles."

"Wait, sir? Did you say that Bella's husband and Tanya were in the same car??" As soon as that fact registered into my head, the walls broke down, yet there were no more tears. Only anger. And hatred.

"Yes, Edward. Tanya was in the passenger's seat. They were on Route 101 seemingly on the way to Port Angeles. Other drivers at the scene of the accident claim that their car was drifting back and forth in their lane as if the driver, Jacob, wasn't paying attention to the road. The car went into the opposite lane and just barely missed an SUV coming the other way. The car jerked over to the other side, but slammed into the guard rail and tumbled over the embankment. Were either of you aware of the two's relationship…err, friendship?"

"No," we both said in unison. The officer looked completely baffled. And I'm sure my face mirrored his. The anger reared it's big ugly head and I couldn't hold it in any more.

"What the hell was your wife doing with my husband!?!?! He was supposed to be with his friends!" I screamed at Edward and he appeared absolutely shocked.

"My wife? What was your husband doing screwing around with my wife?!?"

"He was not screwing around!"

"Oh yeah, then why was he out with _my_ wife while she was supposed to be out with her friends! Seems to me like _your_ husband as much of a guilty party as my wife!"

"How dare you! I loved my husband! Now he's gone all because of that whore you call a wife!"

"My wife is dead! She died last night along with your fucking husband! I'm a fucking widower because of that cheating bastard!"

The officer had had enough of our screaming and slammed his fists down on the table.

"That's enough from both of you! I did not intend for you two to start bickering like children when I told you this! Now, you will stop your arguing and get back to the matter at hand. If there is nothing left to say, we are done here."

I glanced over at Edward and he actually looked remorseful. The pain I saw in his face didn't look like the grief that resembled my exterior. He actually looked sorry for yelling.

"Bella, I'm sorry for arguing with you. It was neither of our faults. I'll go back out there and talk to Alice now." He got up and quietly walked out the door, leaving me absolutely puzzled. I was the one who lashed out at him. Why should he feel sorry? Maybe he's sorry he couldn't keep his wife to himself. It had to have been. His stupid bitch of a wife destroyed my family.

After I gave myself a few minutes to calm down, I carefully got out of my chair, shut the door behind me and walked down the corridor back to the waiting room. Edward was already seated with Alice and had his daughter on his lap. He and Alice were talking in hushed whispers when I walked in and the conversation abruptly stopped when they saw I was back.

"Alice, thanks again for watching Embry. I'm just going to go home now. It was nice meeting you." She jumped out of her chair and darted over to me as I bent down to pick up my son. She handed me a slip of paper and I didn't even get to register what it was before she started rambling again.

"Bella, that's my number. I live in Forks with my husband so if you need anything, let me know! I can watch Embry, we can go shopping, we can go out to eat, we can do anything! We could be best friends!"

"Um…okay? I guess I'll call you then. Bye, Alice. Edward."

I walked out of the hospital with Embry in tow and hurried to my car when I noticed the sudden downfall of rain. With my son buckled into his car seat, I reversed out of my parking spot and raced home, to the warmth of my bed and the reminders of what my life was like only yesterday. Now, everything changed. And I can't see any way for things to get better. My husband was cheating on me and died during the act. Why did I have to draw the short stick?


	6. Important!

_**Hey guys. Sorry about the fake update going on here but wanted to call out to some people for help.**_

_**A lot of a craziness has been going on lately (between wedding planning and work) and it's been really hard getting the next chapter to work out. **_

_**This is one of the most crucial chapters in the story and I want to see if any of you guys wanted to help me out. Maybe beta and run through some ideas with me?**_

**_If you think you'd want to, send me a PM or just review on one of the past chapters. I'd love to have a little help on the rough patches. _**

**_Thanks everyone!_**

**_And if I don't have the next chapter up by this Sunday, feel free to rip me a new one. :)_**


	7. Life Goes On

**A/N: Alright. So, I lied. Writer's block has struck again and it took me MUCH longer than I expected to have this chapter done and to you guys. Not to mention the fact that my beta (my fiance) was out of town all week so I didn't have anyone to check it out. But enough of the excuses. I know you guys don't want to hear it all. So just get to reading.**

**Reviews are like an INSTANT cure to writer's block. You should maybe help me out a bit. Yeah. Let me know what you think and I could possibly write faster next time.**

**Oh, and sorry about the long A/N but I need to have a shoutout to cullengirl08 and teambellaedward. Your reviews make me all giddy inside. Keep up the wonderfulness 3**

BPOV

Time is a constant. No matter what you do, time moves forward. Never backward. No amount of wishing, pleading, or begging will change that. Believe me, I've tried it all. Hoping to change the past is how I've spent the last three weeks. I don't want to say I was sulking…merely grieving. I know it's taken its toll on Embry. I told my son the night after Jake died and it sent me spiraling into an even worse state than I was in beforehand.

_Flashback_

"_Embry, can you come sit in the living room with mommy, please?" He was playing in his room and I had been putting this conversation off for way too long. I heard the thunderous foots steps of my son scrambling down the stairs only for him flop onto the couch. Silent tears streamed down my cheek as I tried to think of an easy way to tell him._

"_Are you okay, mommy?" he said with a worried look._

"_Em, hunny, I have something important to tell you. Remember when we went to the hospital last night?"_

"_A little. I played with Kat for a while. And then you came back, and left again, then you came back and I fell asleep on the way home. Is this about Kat, mommy? Can I play with her again? She's really fun!!" He looked so excited and anxious to play with his new friend but I couldn't say yes to him. I had to go with the usual reply, the parent's way of saying "no."_

"_Maybe sweetie. But first, you need to understand why I left you to play with her last night. Daddy…"_

"_Where's daddy?" he interrupted. This was going to be even harder than I thought._

"_Daddy's…gone." _

"_Gone where??" Those words cut through me like a knife. How was I supposed to tell him his father was dead? No child should have to go through the death of a parent so soon._

"_Daddy passed away last night at the hospital, hunny. He's with Grammy Black up in heaven now. Do you understand?" His face will haunt me until the day I die. The moment he realized what I was saying, the tears started._

"_No!" He screamed at me with such intensity, I actually flinched. He clambered up the stairs and slammed his door. I walked up the stairs and hesitated at his door. With my hand on the doorknob, I heard it. Sobs. I wrenched the door open and ran to the bed to comfort my little boy. _

_End flashback_

He's gotten a little better but he still misses his dad terribly. Then again, so do I. It's getting easier, but being in this house isn't helping. Every little thing reminds me of him. The pictures. The bed. The dent in the living room wall where I threw a book at his head and missed. His clothes. Embry especially. Everything. The funeral was hard. That's the only way I can think to put it. His friends and family offering their condolences was heart wrenching and I had to fight back from lashing out at them all telling them the heartbreak he put me through. And yet, I still love him. And I probably always will. He will forever be my first love and I don't know if I can ever get over him and move on.

Today is exactly three weeks to the day that Jake left us. My only real friend, Angela, called me earlier this morning telling me that she was taking me out for dinner to get my mind off everything and she wouldn't take no for an answer. I rarely left the house nowadays, only to go to the grocery store or to take Embry to the park. I've spent the last four hours calling everyone I know to see if I could find a babysitter. Our usual one had a date tonight. She's a fantastic 16 year old kid named Chloe, and really, I couldn't be happier that she had a date. She was so shy, she reminded me of myself when I was her age. Charlie had plans to go over to Sue Clearwater's for dinner tonight. He attempted to tell me he would call her and tell her he couldn't but I refused to halt his plans.

Everyone either had dates or previous plans. I was stuck. I was digging in my purse looking for my cell phone with other numbers in it when I found the paper. It was a tiny slip of paper with a name and number on it that I would never forget.

_Alice Cullen_

_360-377-9198_

_Call me!!_

She was my last resort. I don't even know if she'll remember me. The perky little Tinkerbell wannabe was stuck in my head forever. Everything about that night is trapped in my mind. Even Edward. Granted, he wasn't bad to look at, but I did lash out at him that night and his wife was the reason I was a widow. Bitch. Well, I need to find someone to watch Embry. And at least he already knows who she is. Here goes nothing.

The phone rang once before a voice picked up on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Um…hi. Is this Alice Cullen?"

"Well of course it is! Who is this?"

"Uh…it's Bella. From the hospital? You gave me your number?" She probably already forgot who I was. She seemed like she had ADHD at the time. Probably does.

"Bella! Of course I remember you! I watched your little boy. I was wondering if you would ever call me but better late then never. What's up? Did you want to hang out or something?" Man, she never stops. But she does seem really nice.

"Well actually, I have plans tonight, but maybe some other time? I was actually wondering if you could, uh, watch Embry again? One of my friends is dragging me out of the house tonight and I don't have anyone to watch him."

"Well sure! Why don't you just drop him by my house? I have to watch Edward's daughter tonight too, so they can have a play date! What time did you need to drop him off?"

"Probably at like…6:30? If that's okay?"

"Perfect! I'll be here. I'm so glad you called!"

She gave me her address and we hung up shortly after. I promised her we would go out some time soon. After the phone call, I ran upstairs and made Embry get his things together.

At a quarter after six, I had Embry buckled into his seat and his bag for the night already stuffed in the trunk, ready to go. I got to Alice's house in about ten minutes, surprised to see a bright yellow Porsche and a shiny silver Volvo sitting in the driveway. Evidently, she was _very_ well off.

As I got out of the car and took Embry's seatbelt off, he jumped out of the car, knocking me down on the cement. That was going to leave a mark. I could feel it. A huge bruise right on my ass. By the time I pulled myself back up, Embry was already up at the door. I hurried and grabbed his bag from the trunk and scrambled up the walk to meet him at the door.

Right when I got to the doorstep, Alice opened the door and Embry scurried into the house ahead of me.

"Thank you so much, Alice. What would I do without you?" I exclaimed.

"Oh it's no problem at all. At least now, Kat will have someone to play with tonight while Edward is out with my Jasper and Emmett."

"Jasper and Emmett?"

"Yeah, Emmett is my oldest brother and Jasper is my fiancé. Come on in and we can talk a little bit before you have to run."

We walked into the house and it was absolutely astonishing. They had to have spent thousands of dollars on a designer. Every room was filled with rich colors and hardwood floors. Gorgeous.

"You have such a nice house, Alice! Who was your designer?"

"Oh that was my mother, Esme. She's a fairly well-known interior designer. She had a field day with this house. It's like her baby."

Just then, I heard a door somewhere down the hall open and out walked the bronze-haired god himself, Edward, from the hospital.

I faintly heard him mumble "oh great" under his breath and I knew I had to get out of there soon before the tears fell. Of course he wouldn't want me anywhere near his family. I did lash out at him the last time I saw him. But I was in shock! It was horrible!

"Sorry Alice, but I gotta go, thanks for watching him, I'll be back around 9, be good Embry!!" And I ran out the door, swinging it shut behind me. Right before I got to my car, I heard the door open quickly and slam shut.

"Bella!! Wait!!" That velvety voice. Ugh. Can't he just leave me alone?

"Edward, just leave me alone. I need to go."

"I'm sorry…you probably heard me when I left the bathroom. I was just worried about how you would react to me being in the house after what happened the last time we were together."

"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is just peachy. Now I need to leave. Nice seeing you." I turned to

walk away but felt a sharp electric jolt to my arm. What the? Spinning around I saw Edward holding my arm.

"Bella, please. I wanted to apologize for everything that happened that night. Please. Can we maybe meet up sometime? Grab coffee or something? I know, this must sound completely ridiculous. But I feel really bad about how we left off and I wanted to try and make up for that. So, maybe next week? We could get some coffee and just talk?"

Wow. Um. This is like the Twilight Zone. I thought he was angry I was at his sister's house. This was totally NOT what I was expecting. If I go out with him, that's like stomping all over Jake's grave. If I don't, well, I don't know. I mean, I haven't really been able to stop thinking about him since the hospital. Oh god. This answer is so clear, but it's going to hurt my heart. I can't let myself get too close. Look what happened with Jake. Ugh. This is so HARD!!

"Um…alright. I guess I can meet up with you sometime. How about next Friday. I don't have to pick up Embry until 2 from school so we could meet for coffee at Starbucks, say around noon?" Wow. Quite forward, Bella. Good job. Probably scared the man off.

"That sounds great. Um, here." He handed me a small piece of paper with the most beautiful handwriting on it.

"That's my number. Call me on Thursday to remind me? I've been working pretty late nights at the hospital with it being so hectic and I might need a refresher."

"Sure…I'll call you then. Bye, Edward."

I turned around and walked quickly back to my car. As I climbed into the car, I faintly heard him say something to the effect of "Goodbye, love," but that's just crazy talk. Must have been just a trick of my mind. Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see how Friday turns out. Hopefully I don't make a complete ass out of myself. Or trip. Or embarrass myself in anyway. In other words, I'm screwed.


End file.
